User:David the All Mighty

So, you’ve finally found me... Me! The Legendary David! David the Hero! David the Almighty...! You can call me David the Great, or David the Legendary Hero – anything that makes me sound good. That’s all that I will permit you to call me by. Look at me, young one, and be astounded by how wonderful I am – how radiant my skin is! How cleanly my sword pierces the sturdiest of Poochums!

Yes... I, the mighty David, was the same David who slew that Goliath! I know why you’re here. Yes – why else would you be here? You’re obviously here for my autograph, are you not? Well, that’s unfortunate. Unless you’re willing to pay the postage fees, I feel no need to mail you such a holy piece of paper with my holy name written on it... holily.

Oh! That’s not the reason why you’re here? Why the Alteia didn’t you tell me this earlier? I’m not psychic -- I ain’t no Mystic or anything! So you wanted to find out how I crafted this sword, right? Well, I can’t tell you! If I did, you would definitely hurt yourself... yup! Let’s talk about something else. You curious about my hair? I see you’re always rolling your eyes upwards towards them. You see, I was a wee tyke when my great grandmother wielded a mighty pair of scissors and cut my hair like this... She was my inspiration for becoming a great hero! To show my appreciation, I’ve always worn my hair this way.

... Too bad she isn’t around anymore to see this... Well, she did say she would always watch over me from up there... The great beyond... The white wonderland...

Yeah, you guessed it. She moved to the North Pole to meet Santa on her own. I really do miss her...

What? What’s that?

WhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoaWHOA! You... YOU’RE BORED? BORED OF WHAT THE GREAT DAVID HAS TO SAY? Fine. If you’re so bored of whatever new things I have to offer, I might as well go through my story with you AGAIN, jerk!

So, you’ve finally found me... Me! The Legendary David! David the Hero! David the Almighty...! You can call me David the Great, or David the Legendary Hero – anything that makes me sound good. That’s all that I will permit you to call me by. Look at me, young one, and be astounded by how wonderful I am – how radiant my skin is! How cleanly my sword pierces the sturdiest of Poochums!

Yes... I, the mighty David, was the same David who slew that Goliath! I know why you’re here. Yes – why else would you be here? You’re obviously here for my autograph, are you not? Well, that’s unfortunate. Unless you’re willing to pay the postage fees, I feel no need to mail you such a holy piece of paper with my holy name written on it... holily. Oh! That’s not the reason why you’re here? Why the Alteia didn’t you tell me this earlier? I’m not psychic -- I ain’t no Mystic or anything! So you wanted to find out how I crafted this sword, right? Well, I can’t tell you! If I did, you would definitely hurt yourself... yup! Let’s talk about something else. You curious about my hair? I see you’re always rolling your eyes upwards towards them. You see, I was a wee tyke when my great grandmother wielded a mighty pair of scissors and cut my hair like this... She was my inspiration for becoming a great hero! To show my appreciation, I’ve always worn my hair this way.

... Too bad she isn’t around anymore to see this... Well, she did say she would always watch over me from up there... The great beyond... The white wonderland...

Yeah, you guessed it. She moved to the North Pole to meet Santa on her own. I really do miss her...

What? What’s that?

WhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoaWHOA! You... YOU’RE BORED? BORED OF WHAT THE GREAT DAVID HAS TO SAY? Fine. If you’re so bored of whatever new things I have to offer, I might as well go through my story with you AGAIN, jerk!

So, you’ve finally found me... Me! The Legendary David! David the Hero! David the Almighty...! You can call me David the Great, or David the Legendary Hero – anything that makes me sound good. That’s all that I will permit you to call me by. Look at me, young one, and be astounded by how wonderful I am – how radiant my skin is! How cleanly my sword pierces the sturdiest of Poochums!

Yes... I, the mighty David, was the same David who slew that Goliath! I know why you’re here. Yes – why else would you be here? You’re obviously here for my autograph, are you not? Please send all your event answers to legendaryherodavid at gmail dot com, along with your forum name. Make sure you label each answer with a number in the order that you solved the riddles. Well, that’s unfortunate. Unless you’re willing to pay the postage fees, I feel no need to mail you such a holy piece of paper with my holy name written on it... holily.

Oh! That’s not the reason why you’re here? Why the Alteia didn’t you tell me this earlier? I’m not psychic -- I ain’t no Mystic or anything! So you wanted to find out how I crafted this sword, right? Well, I can’t tell you! If I did, you would definitely hurt yourself... yup! Let’s talk about something else. You curious about my hair? I see you’re always rolling your eyes upwards towards them. You see, I was a wee tyke when my great grandmother wielded a mighty pair of scissors and cut my hair like this... She was my inspiration for becoming a great hero! To show my appreciation, I’ve always worn my hair this way.

... Too bad she isn’t around anymore to see this... Well, she did say she would always watch over me from up there... The great beyond... The white wonderland...

Yeah, you guessed it. She moved to the North Pole to meet Santa on her own. I really do miss her...

What? What’s that?

WhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoaWHOA! You... YOU’RE BORED? BORED OF WHAT THE GREAT DAVID HAS TO SAY? Fine. If you’re so bored of whatever new things I have to offer, I might as well go through my story with you AGAIN, jerk!

Or... maybe not... Duty calls! And I mean the slay-a-dragon kind of duty.